Privacy Policy:

I know, it’s boring as hell and you are sick to death of being emailed willy nilly about gdpr crap.

Well, I’ll make this short & sweet, I get penalised in the search engines if I do not have one, which is a BAD thing. Previously I had a good little proper thing in dry legalese, which neither you nor I would make head nor tail of, and would certainly never  read! With the onset of gdpr (which in itself, is a GOOD thing for you and me, I hate spam!) we are all being bombarded  about it, so I decided to change mine to a common sense version, easy (ish) to understand and a lot more transparent. It will still not be read, but at least if it is, you shouldn’t be bored shitless.

Basically, I need some info from you to actually communicate with you and send you prices and links and things that you have asked for or may be useful if you are thinking of using my services, and my website will know how you got here and where you went. If you enquire I will answer, if you do not, I will ignore you.

You might see a facebook ad if I can ever be bothered to run one, but that’s it. I am a photographer, not a marketer. I don’t share or sell or give any of your contact details, emails etc etc to anyone else. See the previous sentence. I don’t spam, nor newsletter. That’s the policy in a nutshell. If you are truly bored out of your skull, read the nitty gritty below. If you are a pita looking for ways to moan and complain, just tell me direct and I will delete anything I have about you and forget you ever existed, life is too short for me to be bothered about stuff like this.

  1. Who controls your personal information?
  2. What kinds of information do I collect from you?
  3. What about third-party websites?
  4. How do we notify you of changes to the Privacy Policy?
  5. How can you contact us?

Steve at Derwent Photography has published this information for his clients and visitors to his website.

  1. Who controls your personal information?

Me, of course.

 What kinds of information do I collect from you?

Nothing you don’t enter into a form or is normally tracked by websites. Remember when we are online, it’s best to assume nothing is truly private!

Information Provided by You to Me.

If you use the contact or enquiry forms, or email or call me, that info will probably be recorded, so I can answer your enquiry.

Information About Your Device and Internet Connection

This is internet black magic and I have no idea how it works. Use your common sense, if you are looking through a website, that website will track where you go and for how long, what browser you use etc etc, so the owners can analyse and tweak the site to perform better and deliver what you seek simpler. Rumour has it that it will also spy on what you had for tea last night, but I can neither confirm nor deny that.

Payment Information

Payments are processed through the big names like world pay, paypal, stripe etc. I don’t store payment details, but obviously I do keep a record of how much!!! If you are nervous about paying for stuff through any of these apps etc, do a bank transfer. It’s so much easier for you and me. Go on, you know you want to.

Information Provided by Third-Parties 

This means the black magic stuff collected by the clever bods who build google and websites and stuff, with funny names like cookies, even though they are inedible. I haven’t a clue how it all works, but it means if you use my website, they can tell me where and how long and all that stuff. I am supposed to use it carefully to optimise the experience for you and to make me more money, but I can’t be arsed. The last time I looked at my analytics was probably 2005! Anyway, bottom line is, if you can control them, it’s in your browser settings somewhere, fill your boots; if you can’t, it’s probably cos they are required for a bit of the site to work, but honestly, don’t ask me, I’m too busy photographing weddings and babies and going sailing to worry about this shit.


  1. What about third-party websites?

To be honest, it’s their problem, not mine! But the only third party site attached to mine is the one that hosts and runs your image galleries. Same applies to my stuff on there as on here, beyond that, there is probably a similar, but more boring, policy on there somewhere.

  1. How do I notify you of changes to the Privacy Policy?

I don’t, cos I won’t be hassling you with shit about gdpr etc like everyone else is. It’s here, and if it changes, it will have changed here too, so whatever you have read, is current (ish)

  1. How can you contact us?

Use the contact page of course 😊 But remember the above.